lördag 17 september 2016

Return the gayze

Promise me that I will matter if I don’t shave. 
Promise me that I will matter if I don’t wear a dress. 
Promise me that I will matter if I don’t wear makeup. 
Promise me that I will matter if I am not fabulous. 
Promise me that I will matter if I am not visible.
Promise me that I will matter if I am ugly.
Promise me that I will matter if I’m not articulate.
Promise me that I don’t have to have been “born this way” 
Promise me that I don’t have to always have known 
Promise that I don’t have to modify my body to matter.
Promise me that you will not assume what it was like for me to grow up.
Promise me that you will not repost all of the articles about how we shouldn’t assume gender (and then still do it). 
Promise me that you won’t call me by my pronouns and then treat me by my body.
Promise me that I don’t have to perform white femininity to matter. 
Promise me that I don’t have to perform cis femininity to matter. 
Promise me that I don’t have to perform upper class femininity to matter.
Promise me that you see the femme in my hairy body.
Promise that you see the femme in my brown body.
Promise that you see the femme in my messy, uncouth, dirty, scarred body.
Promise that you understand that my gender is not just a hobby or a politic.
Promise me that you understand that I wasn’t just assigned male at birth, I am assigned male every day I walk outside the house.
Promise me this is a form of street harassment.
Promise me this is a form of gender violence.
Promise me that you’ll say something when they call me ‘he.’ 
Promise me that you understand that I am hurt.
Promise me that you understand that I am scared.
Promise me that you understand that sometimes I prioritize my safety over your binary.
Promise me that you will allow me to narrate the story of my body. 
Promise me that you won’t love me like a man, kiss me like a man, fuck me like a man.
Promise me you won’t forget that when you bring me home.Promise me you won’t forget that when you tell your friends about me.
Promise me you won’t forget that when you’re horny.
Promise me that they will not look back on my life and call this a phase. 
Promise me that you believe me when I tell you this not a phase.
Promise that I will matter when I am too tired to prove my gender to you.
(Or don’t. 
I’m used to it.)

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